Iron and Wine's Sam Beam was rocking a kickass beard long before the current beard trend. Tangentially: beware of bearded troubadours, they're hiding extra ninja strings and haunting ballads in there. Approach with sad-kid caution. -S.T. Tickets are $28.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville St., Vancouver, BC

Way back in the day, and not your day either, more like your older brother's or your father's day, Christopher Walken was not a caricature, he was an actor. Don't get me wrong, I dig neo-Walken, but he used to actually act. Which brings us to Deer Hunter, the film that rightly scored Walken a best supporting Oscar for his portrayal of a heroin-addicted Russian Roulette player. What does that have to do with the brilliant ambient-rock Deerhunter? Nothing, though an opportunity to discuss old-school Walken should never be wasted. -S.T. Tickets are $16 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richards On Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Is "every time I look at you I go blind" a compliment or an insult? Either way, it gets stuck in my head for hours on end. If you think that that's a good thing, then maybe you should spend a night with a numerically named Can-alt-rock band. -S.T. Tickets are $29.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Doors @ 9:30pm Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Come on Baby, let's do the twist. The twist was a dance that came about in the 1960's and made parents go crazy. They could not believe their sweet innocent children would perform these provocative moves. But the kids had a blast and all the cool ones could do the twist. The Notwist is not cool. Tickets are $19.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore, 870 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Oh Metallica, you were once the most popular hard rock band in the world. Then the heavy metal craze ended and all of your macho posturing started to look silly. Then you released the documentary Some Kind Of Monster, which made it clear that your entire band is comprised of whiny egotists with more attitude than brains. These days you still put asses in seats, but the mystique is long gone. Ah well, at least your music hasn't aged as poorly as Pearl Jam.?PB No ticket prices have been set yet General Motors Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, B.C.

While many might scoff at the food samplings of this Yuppie hood (or just the idea of associating with the area's residents), you must remember that the luxurious lifestyles (and well-padded bank accounts) of the locals afford them some of the most refined palates in the city. The logic goes that if the Yaletown residents are willing to pay more money to eat at these featured restaurants on a regular basis, then those of a lesser financial status should most definitely dine accordingly when the discounts are implemented. The festival will feature set menu prices ($25, $35 or $45) for a three-course tasting menu (hence the taste of Yaletown moniker). Participating restaurants include George, Plan B, Rodney's Oyster House, Glowbal Grill and Satay Bar, Coast, Cactus Club, and others. - E.J. with S.T. and R.T. For more information, visit Taste of Yaletown Various Restaurants, Yaletown, Vancouver, BC

Which type of M&Ms do you prefer? It depends on my mood. Fence sitter. Matt Mays and El Torpedo (Spanish for underwater, boat sinking, armless, metal man) play East Coast-bred rawk (that kind) for the sideburns-need-a-slight-trim rock (that kind) radio set. -S.T. Tickets are $22.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C.

I have a friend who had tickets to a Flogging Molly show, but got way too drunk, never got in, and woke up the next day with mysterious cuts and bruises all over him. If he had seen these Celtic punkers, the result would probably have been the same. - R.T. Tickets are $27.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Have you seen those graphics of the earth that show electricity usage by area? Certain places are lit up, while others are entirely dark (i.e. Antarctica, Greenland, etc.). Judging by the amount of stellar electro-pop coming out of France these days, the blonde, bleu, et rouge are burning through a lot of power. Yelle is the latest blip-dance recipient of blog/e-sponsored success. Go see her before she explodes (or France runs out of energy). ?S.T. Tickets are $19.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore, 870 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C.

Y'know, I can't really tell you what a Laurie Anderson performance would be like. You can't exactly call it a concert, because her performances aren't exactly music; they're more performance art. What I can tell you, though, is that there's a chance her husband Lou Reed will be there. That's reason enough to go. - R.T. Tickets are $45.00 - $65.00 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Centre for Performing Arts, 777 Homer Street, Vancouver, BC

Though J-Blunt is an okay hip hop name, James Blunt is a perfect easy listening singer-songwriter handle. Why? Because melodrama is the antithesis of forthrightness and irony was cool when JB was in high school, that's why. -S.T Tickets are $45.50 - 59.50 GM Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, BC

You would have to be slightly stupid to name your band Slightly Stoopid. A fusion of rock, blues, punk, hip-hop, and reggae, the band has (surprisingly) released seven albums. Maybe these guys should get together and rename themselves. ?C.S. Tickets are $25 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

I find it really annoying when bands become famous for covering someone else's song. All of their other songs suck, and they redo a song and that propels them to the top. Anyone can redo a song. It's also annoying when people try really hard to become famous but don't write their own songs, have no musical ability and are coached on exactly what to wear, who to be and what to do. (Canadian Idol.) So it's refreshing when there's a band out there like Black Kids who just sort of do what they do and don't care. They didn't have a website for a long time, they didn't have a record label for awhile and they don't have a full length album. They made it strictly on their musical ability. Tickets are $20 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

There are a handful of superstar men out there who I would drop to my knees and worship if I ever found myself in their immediate vicinity. Lenny Kravitz is definitely a long-standing member to my short list. He brings sex and style to rock and roll in a way that hasn?t been done since the days of Morrison and Hendrix - minus the rampant drug abuse, that is. Not many men can pull off leather pants AND fur boas with effortless appeal the way Lenny can. Adriana and Nicole know what I?m talking about. The man is a portal of sexual prowess and musical channels. ?Lenny, we love you!? He?s on tour now, trying to start a Love Revolution. Baby, I?m in. I?m so in. How do I sign up? ?J.T. Tickets are $39.50 - $75.00 @ Ticketmaster or 416-870-800 GM Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, BC

Founded in New York City, The Trans-Siberian Orchestra rocks out with their renditions of all of your favorite Christmas tunes. For some reason, their music reminds me of ?Home Alone: Lost in New York.? I just start picturing little Kevin running through the streets of NYC while a crazy, intense Christmas instrumental plays in the background. ?S.B. Tickets are $46.00 - $56.00 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 GM Place, 800 Griffith Way, Vancouver, BC

It's impressive to see an experimental band have this kind of longevity. Legendary Pink Dots were formed in 1980 and with that kind of staying power they've earned the title "Legendary". Not so much the "Pink Dots". - R.T. Tickets are $15.00 @ Ticketmaster Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

J.C., the sometime B.S.S. guitarist, not the carpenter, brings his solo act to the Mercury. By the way, who isn?t a sometime B.S.S. guitarist? Are you one? Probably.-S.T. Tickets are $15.00 @ Ticketmaster Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richard Street, Vancouver, B.C.

The latest in a long line of cooler-than-ice-trays Swedish chanteuses, Lykke Li, triumphantly returns to Vancouver for a headlining gig. Her consternated countenance and measured stomping have set many a skinny-jean boy's heart aflutter. Go now while you can still get creepily close. Too creepy? -S.T. Tickets are $19.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Diplo is an American DJ and producer who has done some high-profile remixes of songs like Kanye?s Gold Digger, Bloc Party?s Helicopter, and Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John. He?s basically really awesome. The Gold Digger remix is amazing, so download it. Now. And go see him mixing solo. After all, what else do you have to do on a Thursday night? ?D.C. Tickets are $20.00 @ Ticketmaster Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street

When I first heard Bedouin Soundclash I thought they were really good. One night they were in town and I convinced a bunch of friends to go see them with me. They were horrible. I saw them two more times after that by accident-I went to a couple of festivals and they happened to be playing. They were really bad both of those times as well. I wouldn't go see them live again. They are also one of those bands that I do like but I wish I didn't. It seems the crowds at their shows are made up of teenage Abercormbie and Fitch kids. So it's embarrassing, but their music is really good. Tickets are $26.00 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville St., Vancouver, BC

Do you know the difference between Holland and the Netherlands? I do, but I think you?ve come to a point in your life when you should do your own research. Until now you have had it too easy; that all ends today. Look at me when I?m speaking to you. Your parents will tell you that Jolie Holland?s mix of soul, Americana, roots, jazz, this, that, and the other are fantastic. You should listen to them. -S.T. Richard's On Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Want to go get wasted and see some live music? Then go see Ladyhawk. These guys like to drink and so do their fans. It normally helps make the music much more bearable. And hey, it?s a Friday night so you have no excuse not to drink up and rock out. Tickets are $14 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richards On Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

You would have to be slightly stupid to name your band Slightly Stoopid. A fusion of rock, blues, punk, hip-hop, and reggae, the band has (surprisingly) released seven albums. Maybe these guys should get together and rename themselves. ?C.S. Tickets are $25 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Do you know the difference between Holland and the Netherlands? I do, but I think you?ve come to a point in your life when you should do your own research. Until now you have had it too easy; that all ends today. Look at me when I?m speaking to you. Your parents will tell you that Jolie Holland?s mix of soul, Americana, roots, jazz, this, that, and the other are fantastic. You should listen to them. -S.T. Richard's On Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Is "every time I look at you I go blind" a compliment or an insult? Either way, it gets stuck in my head for hours on end. If you think that that's a good thing, then maybe you should spend a night with a numerically named Can-alt-rock band. -S.T. Tickets are $29.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Doors @ 9:30pm Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Neil Sedaka's nearly 60 year career is quite impressive, but honestly, he's pretty boring. There's nothing interesting about him. So I'll just go ahead and make some stuff up: Neil Sedaka has the world record for most pleats per pant. Neil Sedaka's glasses can be seen from space. Neil Sedaka's biggest hit was the 1962 Paul Anka diss track, "Anka, how's my ass taste." I think I like him a lot better now. Don't you? - R.T. Tickets are $64.50 - $74.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Red Robinson Show Theatre, Boulevard Casino, 2080 United Boulevard, Coquitlam, B.C.

I always thought acorns solely existed for squirrels but apparently people can eat them. You can make pancakes, squash, soup, sauces, stew, and you can cook it with all types of meats. Also-in the 1960's people used to cure hangovers with juice taken from acorns. Now that is one handy little nut to have around. I personally have never seen them in grocery stores before. Are these acorn eaters out there collecting nuts right along with the squirrels and bringing them home to cook? Too weird. Tickets are $12.50 @ Zulu and Ticket Web Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, B.C.

While many might scoff at the food samplings of this Yuppie hood (or just the idea of associating with the area's residents), you must remember that the luxurious lifestyles (and well-padded bank accounts) of the locals afford them some of the most refined palates in the city. The logic goes that if the Yaletown residents are willing to pay more money to eat at these featured restaurants on a regular basis, then those of a lesser financial status should most definitely dine accordingly when the discounts are implemented. The festival will feature set menu prices ($25, $35 or $45) for a three-course tasting menu (hence the taste of Yaletown moniker). Participating restaurants include George, Plan B, Rodney's Oyster House, Glowbal Grill and Satay Bar, Coast, Cactus Club, and others. - E.J. with S.T. and R.T. For more information, visit Taste of Yaletown Various Restaurants, Yaletown, Vancouver, BC

There are a handful of superstar men out there who I would drop to my knees and worship if I ever found myself in their immediate vicinity. Lenny Kravitz is definitely a long-standing member to my short list. He brings sex and style to rock and roll in a way that hasn?t been done since the days of Morrison and Hendrix - minus the rampant drug abuse, that is. Not many men can pull off leather pants AND fur boas with effortless appeal the way Lenny can. Adriana and Nicole know what I?m talking about. The man is a portal of sexual prowess and musical channels. ?Lenny, we love you!? He?s on tour now, trying to start a Love Revolution. Baby, I?m in. I?m so in. How do I sign up? ?J.T. Tickets are $39.50 - $75.00 @ Ticketmaster or 416-870-800 GM Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, BC

Canada's troubadour hero, poli-folk provocateur, and sideburn king, Neil Young is a force to be reckoned with. It's Neil Young. So go. That's all there is to it. A.C. Tickets are $48.00 - $248.00 @ Ticketmaster or 416-870-800 GM Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, BC

The latest in a long line of cooler-than-ice-trays Swedish chanteuses, Lykke Li, triumphantly returns to Vancouver for a headlining gig. Her consternated countenance and measured stomping have set many a skinny-jean boy's heart aflutter. Go now while you can still get creepily close. Too creepy? -S.T. Tickets are $19.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Diplo is an American DJ and producer who has done some high-profile remixes of songs like Kanye?s Gold Digger, Bloc Party?s Helicopter, and Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John. He?s basically really awesome. The Gold Digger remix is amazing, so download it. Now. And go see him mixing solo. After all, what else do you have to do on a Thursday night? ?D.C. Tickets are $20.00 @ Ticketmaster Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street

I have a friend who had tickets to a Flogging Molly show, but got way too drunk, never got in, and woke up the next day with mysterious cuts and bruises all over him. If he had seen these Celtic punkers, the result would probably have been the same. - R.T. Tickets are $27.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Thank fuck for the rumble strip. My bus driver was way passed out. He swears he wasn't but, about ten minutes later, he nudged a compact while stuck in rural traffic. I wonder how many people rumble strips wake up on a daily basis. Conversely, UK combo, Rumble Strips, won't be waking anyone up but, for the already standing, they will encourage nods and toe-taps. -S.T. Tickets are $12 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, B.C.

Oh Metallica, you were once the most popular hard rock band in the world. Then the heavy metal craze ended and all of your macho posturing started to look silly. Then you released the documentary Some Kind Of Monster, which made it clear that your entire band is comprised of whiny egotists with more attitude than brains. These days you still put asses in seats, but the mystique is long gone. Ah well, at least your music hasn't aged as poorly as Pearl Jam.?PB No ticket prices have been set yet General Motors Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, B.C.

It's impressive to see an experimental band have this kind of longevity. Legendary Pink Dots were formed in 1980 and with that kind of staying power they've earned the title "Legendary". Not so much the "Pink Dots". - R.T. Tickets are $15.00 @ Ticketmaster Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

M83 was opening for Interpol at Brixton Academy. With such a fantastic bill, the £17.50 tickets sold out faster than a reporter/tight-clad alien can orbit the earth. I was fortitudinous. When I got off the Tube, a gruffer-than-Rhys character immediately greeted me with a less-than-salutary, ?are you looking for tickets?? The savvy negotiator that I am, I responded with a clever, ?maybe.? The would-be salesman ? with the propriety of a fine car dealer ? lead me around a corner and the bartering began. He launched the first salvo: ?£30.? Unshaken, I returned, ?£15.? Noticeably dazed, he retorted, ?£30.? The game was getting good. I looked slyly to either side before hitting him with a stony gaze. ?£20.? He stroked his moustache pensively. ?£30.? Well played. I sensed his resolve beginning to fade. ?£25,? I countered. ?£30.? I switched tactics, flashing big, sad, Oliver-Twist Eyes. ?Won?t you come down at all?? ?I?ll come down to £30.? I?ll admit that his tricky logic hobbled my typically infallible rhetoric. Confused, I counted out three £10 notes. A couple of weeks later, M83 played Scala for £10. They were fantastic. -S.T. Tickets are $20.00 @ Ticketweb Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, B.C.

Have you seen those graphics of the earth that show electricity usage by area? Certain places are lit up, while others are entirely dark (i.e. Antarctica, Greenland, etc.). Judging by the amount of stellar electro-pop coming out of France these days, the blonde, bleu, et rouge are burning through a lot of power. Yelle is the latest blip-dance recipient of blog/e-sponsored success. Go see her before she explodes (or France runs out of energy). ?S.T. Tickets are $19.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore, 870 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C.

Which type of M&Ms do you prefer? It depends on my mood. Fence sitter. Matt Mays and El Torpedo (Spanish for underwater, boat sinking, armless, metal man) play East Coast-bred rawk (that kind) for the sideburns-need-a-slight-trim rock (that kind) radio set. -S.T. Tickets are $22.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C.

This MM is far from homophobic: it loves Wood. It also loves new jazz. Mmmm, new jazz and Wood. That's tasty. -S.T. Tickets are $35.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Toronto's Crystal Castles give their world-renowned tweak, twirl and blip, Chuck-friendly material the sweaty CiRcA experience. The heavy-traveling Castles have remixed everyone from Bloc Party and Klaxons to Little Ones and toured with CSS and the Presets. They continue with their world domination in Vancouver. Commodore, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C.

I find it really annoying when bands become famous for covering someone else's song. All of their other songs suck, and they redo a song and that propels them to the top. Anyone can redo a song. It's also annoying when people try really hard to become famous but don't write their own songs, have no musical ability and are coached on exactly what to wear, who to be and what to do. (Canadian Idol.) So it's refreshing when there's a band out there like Black Kids who just sort of do what they do and don't care. They didn't have a website for a long time, they didn't have a record label for awhile and they don't have a full length album. They made it strictly on their musical ability. Tickets are $20 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC